No one is perfect, we all make mistakes, and some are worse than others. One of the worst mistakes you can make, and the one that does an unimaginable amount of harm, is that of infidelity. When you cheat on someone whether it’s your wife or your girlfriend, you are proving to everyone involved that you are selfish and childish. The only way to make things right is to end the relationship and give 100% to your wife or girlfriend, the one who you promised you would be faithful to. The problem is, the other woman might genuinely care for you and you will hurt her too, so be careful how you go about getting rid of the other woman.
The first thing you have to do is talk to her. If you’ve been lying to her and she didn’t even know you were married or in another relationship, you’ve really screwed up. You will most likely cause her a lot of pain but you have to break the cycle of lying and cheating. Just be as gentle as possible, but let her know in no uncertain terms that it’s over and you don’t want to see her again.
If your lover knows that you’re married or in another relationship, ending things with her will be a little easier, hopefully. At least you haven’t lied to her too. Just make a clean break.
You have to make sure and make a total break from the other woman, that means no phone calls, racy texts, or fantasies. If you want your marriage or your relationship with your girlfriend to work you have to give her 100% fidelity and that means even in your mind. Fantasizing is fine as long as your fantasies revolve around a movie star or a person you don’t know, if you’re still fantasizing about your mistress than you haven’t totally ended the relationship.
Make sure you get rid of her phone number, delete her email address and all emails the two of you have exchanged. If you’ve been given any presents or mementos, get rid of them too. You have to make a fresh start and you can’t do that if you’re still holding on to your mistress, even in small ways.
If the other woman was someone you met at work, you will see her on a daily basis so it will become even more necessary that you let her know everything is over. Don’t lead her on just to stroke your own ego. Tell her it’s over and follow up the words with clear actions, if the two of you used to hang out during your lunch hour, try to take your lunch at a different time or don’t go to the same places where you used to meet her. Alter your routine so that you can avoid her as much as possible that way you’ll be letting her know by your actions as well as your words that it truly is over for good.
The other woman is often villainized in our society and if a woman knowingly goes out with a married man she has some moral issues she needs to deal with, but the bottom line is that you are the one who made the commitment to your wife or girlfriend, and you are the one who broke it. It’s your responsibility to make things right and the first step to do that is by not dating the other woman and make a total commitment to your wife.
As it says in The Magic Of Making Up, there is very little that a relationship cannot weather and be improved by experiencing so long as both of you are adult enough to move on.
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